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Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.
But she had an enchantment upon her fearful story
Which could only be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a fire breathing dragon.
Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison.
But none prevailed.
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower
For her true love and her true love's first kiss.
That's not gonna happen.
I think it's in there. Let's get it.
You don't know what that'll do to you.
It'll grow in your bones and freeze your breath.
Actually that'd be a giant.
Now ogres, they're worse they'll make a soup from your freshly piled skin.
They'll freeze your livers, squeeze you're the jelly from your eyes.
Actually it's quite good on toys.
Back! Back! I warn you.
This is the part for you to run away.
Give me that.
Your final days are over.
There're 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
Next get off.
This cage is so small.
I'll never be stopped again I can change please give me another chance.
Oh, shut up.
Next what'd we got?
A puppet.
I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy.
5 shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
Next what'd we got?
I got a talking donkey.
That's good for 10 shillings if you can prove it.
Go ahead fella.
Well...
He is just never he's quite a chatter box.
That's it guard.
He talks he does.
Get her out of my sight.
Hey, I can fly.
He can fly.
He can talk.
Maybe he's seen a house fly. Maybe super fly.
But I bet you ain't seen a donkey fly.
Seize him.
Get him this way.
You there ogre.
I'm authorized to place you both under
Arrest and transport you to a designated settlement.
You and what army?
Can I say something to you?
Listen you was really... really something here.
Are you talking to...
Me?
Yes, I was talking to you.
Can I tell you you were really great back there?
You just showed and banged.
That really made me feel good.
That's great.
Man, it's good to be free.
Now why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
But I...
I don't have any friends.
And I'm not going out there by myself.
Wait a minute, I got a great idea. I'll stick with you.
You and me in a fine machine to...
That's really scaring if you don't mind
Saying that don't worth your breath as long as we're to get the job done 'cos...
Your breath stinks.
Why are you following?
Stop singing.
No wonder you don't have a friend.
Listen, little donkey, take a look at me. What am I?
Really tall.
No, I'm an ogre doesn't that bother you?
Man, I like you what's your name?
Shrek.
You know what I like about you?
You got the I don't care what nobody thinks of me thing.
I like that I respect that.
Look at that who's gonna live in place like that?
That'd be my home.
Lovely! You're quite a decorater.
It's amazing you've done with such a modest budget.
I like that bolder, that's a nice bolder.
I guess you don't entertain too much, do you?
I like my privacy.
I do too, that's another thing we have in common.
Like I hate when you got someone in your face.
You're trying to get me a head the won't lead.
That's a big awkward silence, you know.
Can I stay with you?
What?
Can I stay with you, please?
Of course.
Really?
No.
Please, I don't wanna go back there. you know what is like.
Maybe you do, that's why we gotta stick together.
Please...
Ok, but one night only.
It's gonna be fun we can stay late.
Outside.
I guess that's cool.
You don't know me I don't know you.
I guess if I stay outside is best.
Ok, I go.
Good night.
I really like that door.
Sitting outside by myself I guess.
I'm alone.
I thought I told you to stay outside.
I'm outside.
What choice do we have here?
What a lovely bed.
I found some cheese.
Awful stuff.
Is that you Gordon?
How do you know?
Enough, what you doing in my house?
Get that off the table.
Where're we supposed to put it? the bed is taken.
I have a swamp and I'll put you outside?
I'm a terrifying ogre. What do I have to do to get you little brat off here?
What are you doing in my swamp?
Get out of here, move it, go.
No, no, there.
I didn't invite them.
No one invited us, we were forced to come here.
By who?
Who knows where this fire squad guy is?
I do know where he is.
Does anyone else know where to find him?
Anyone at all ?
Pick me, I know me.
Ok, attention all fairy tale things.
Don't get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially warned now.
In fact I'm gonna see this fire squad guy myself right now.
And get you all out of my I and and back where you came from.
You, you'll come with me.
That's what I like.
I'm on the road again.
I can't wait, I'm on the road again.
What did I say about singing?
Can I whistle?
Can I hum? All right.
That's enough.
He's ready to talk.
Run as fast as you can.
I'm the ginger bread man.
You're a monster.
I'm not a monster.
You and the rest of the pets poisoning my perfect world.
Now tell me where are the others?
Eat me.
I'm trying to be fair to you creatures.
Now my patience has its end. Tell me or I'll...
No, not my buttons.
I gummed my buttons.
Who's hiding them?
Do you know the muffin man?
The muffin man.
I know the muffin man who lives on holy I and.
She is married to the muffin man.
My lord, we found it.
What're you waiting for? bring it in.
Magic mirror.
Don't tell her.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
Isn't this the most perfect kingdom of them all ?
Technically, you're not a king.
What were you saying?
You're not a king yet but you can become one.
All you have to do is marry a princess.
Go on.
So just sit back and relax, my lord.
Because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bacheloress.
Here they are.
Bacheloress number 1 is from a far kingdom.
She likes sushi anytime.
Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her 2 evil sisters.
Please welcome Cinderella.
Bacheloress number 2 lives with 7 men
It's not easy.
Give her up...snow white.
Number 3 is a fiery red head kept in a castle guarded by a dragon.
Princess Fiona.
Who'd it be? Bacheloress number 1, 2 or 3?
You've chosen princess Fiona.
She is perfect! All I have to do is find someone.
But I promise you shouldn't be something tonight.
I'll make this princess Fiona my queen.
And you all will finally have a perfect king.
Assemble your finest men.
We're going to have a tournament.
That's it, I told you.
That must be lord Farquar's castle.
Do you his compensating for something?
Wait a second.
I'm not gonna eat you?
It's quiet.
Too quiet.
Where is everybody?
Look at this.
Let's do that again.
No.
You're going to the right for the smart bottom.
The lovely princess Fiona from the fiery keep of that dragon.
If for any reason the winner is not successful ,
The runner up will take his place.
And so on and so forth.
But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Let the tournament begin.
What is that?
It's hideous.
It's not very nice.
That's just a donkey.
Indeed.
New plan.
The one who kills the ogre will be named champion.
Have him.
Hang on there.
Can we settle that over a plate?
Come on.
Tack me.
Give him the chair.
Shall give the order?
I have a better idea.
People of Duloc,
I'll give you the champion.
Congratulations!
You've won me the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.
I'm already on a quest.
A quest to get my swamp back.
Your swamp.
Yeah, my swamp, where you dumped your fairy tale creatures.
Indeed.
All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal.
Go on this quest for me I'll give your swamp back.
Exactly the way it was?
Down to the last carving stowed.
And the squatters.
As good as gone.
What kind of quest?
Can I get this straight?
We're gonna go find this dragon
And rescue the princess just so Farquar will give you back your swamp?
You know what maybe there's a reason donkeys don't talk?
I don't get it.
Maybe I could have decapitated some heads and put them on a plate
And drink their fluids.
Does that sound good to you?
For you information, there's a lot more in ogre than people think.
For example?
Ogres are like onions.
They stink?
Or they make you cry?
You I eave them out in the sun
And make them brown and and start getting some wild hay?
Layers.
Onions have layers, ogres have layers.
You get it? we both have layers.
We don't live by onions.
Everybody likes cakes. Cakes have layers.
I don't care
What everyone likes.
Ogres are not like cakes.
Everybody likes puff.
You ever met anybody and said you like puff
And they say we don't like no puff.
You dumb irritating piece of burden.
Ogres are like onions.
Bye bye, see you later.
Puff is maybe the most delicious thing on this whole damn planet.
You have a tissue or something.
Just mention the word puff makes me laugh.
Did you do that?
You gotta warn somebody before you crack one off.
My mouth is open for everything.
If it was me, you'd dead.
It's brim stone.
We must be getting close.
I know what I'm smelling.
There ain't no brim stone there come off no stone neither.
Sure it isn't big enough but look at the occasion.
Remember you said that ogres have layers?
I do have a bigger confession to make.
Donkeys don't have leaves.
You know what I mean.
Don't tell me you're afraid of heights.
No, I'm just a little uncomfortable.
I'm right here be hind you for emotional support.
We just have to walk this thing together one little bigger step.
Really.
Really, really.
That makes me so much better.
Just keep on moving and don't look down.
keep on moving and don't look down.
I'm looking down.
I can't do this right now.
We're already half way.
Ok, I don't have time for this. You go back.
Don't do that.
Do what?
This?
Yes, that.
Inside waiting for us to rescue her.
I was talking about the dragon.
You're afraid?
No.
Oh, , good, me neither.
Donkey, 2 things shut up.
Go in there and see we can find any stairs.
I thought we were looking for the princess.
The princess'll be up the stairs in the highest room in tallest tower.
What makes you think she will be there?
I read in the book once.
Cool, you handle the dragon, I will handle the stairs.
Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stair.
At I east we know where the princess is but where is the...
Dragon!
Donkey, look out.
Got you.
What sharp teeth you have?
I mean white sparkling teeth.
There's one dazzling smile you got there.
Of course, you're a girl dragon.
'cos you're just rigging up a feminine beauty.
What's the matter with you? you got something in your eye.
I really love to stay, I'm asthmatic, you know.
Wake up.
What?
Are you princess Fiona?
I'm... Waiting at night so bored for you to rescue me.
Let's go.
Wait.
Sure it's our first meeting.
Shouldn't it be a wonderful and romantic moment?
Sorry, lady, there's no time.
What're you doing?
You shouldn't sweep me off of my feet.
You seem to have spent a lot of time planning, haven't you?
Can I at I east know the name of my champion?
I bet you should take this as a token of my gratitude.
You didn't slay the dragon.
Where are you going?
The exit is over there.
I have to save my ass.
What kind of man are you?
One of the kind.
I'm not emotionally committed to this magnitude.
That is unwanted physical contact.
What are you doing?
Just back off a little one step at a time.
We should really get to know each other first you know as friends.
Don't do that.
It talks.
Get him to shut up that's a trade.
You 2 head for the exit.
I'll take care of the dragon.
You did it, you rescued me.
You're amazing, you're wonderful.
A little unorthodox I admit.
The idea is great and by heart. It's pure.
I'm purely in debt.
Where'd I be without this noble's deed?
I hope you hear that she called me a noble's deed.
The battle is won.
You may remove your helmet.
I'd have a helmet on.
I'll look upon the face of my rescuer.
Would you kiss me?
That was not in the job description.
Maybe it's a perk.
No, it's destiny.
You must know how it goes.
A princess locked in the tower besieged by a dragon and
Rescued by a brave knight.
And then they share their true love first kiss.
You think Shrek's your true love.
What's so funny?
Let's just say I'm not your type ok?
You're my rescuer, now remove your helmet.
I really don't think this is a good idea.
Just remove your helmet.
Take it off! Now.
As you command.
You're an ogre?
Oh, , you're expecting prince charming?
This is all wrong.
You're not supposed to be an ogre.
I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquar.
He's the one who wants to marry you.
Why didn't he come to rescue me?
Good question, you should ask him when we get there.
I have to be rescued by my true love.
Not by some...ogre and his pet.
Too much for a noble's deed.
You're not making my job easier.
Your job is not my problem.
You can tell lord Farquar if wants to rescue me probably.
I'll be waiting right here.
I'm no one's messenger boy.
I'm a delivery boy.
You wouldn't dare.
Put me down or you'll suffer the consequences.
This is not dignified.
Here's another question.
See if a woman who ditched you
But you really her that way.
How'd you let her down so her feeling don't get hurt?
Just tell her she is not your true love.
Everyone will know when you find her...
The sooner we get to Duloc, the better.
You're gonna love it, it's beautiful.
Lord Farquar, what's he like?
Let's just put it this way.
Man of Farquar's statue is in short supply.
There're those who think ladies love him.
Stop it, both of you.
You're just jealous.
You can never measure up to a great ruler like
Lord Farquar.
Maybe you're right,
I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.
Will it be that long?
Shouldn't we start to meet him?
It'll take longer.
But there're robbers in the woods.
I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest.
Over here.
We can do better than this. I don't think it's save for the princess.
It's perfect. I just need some homely touches.
Like what?
A door it'll be. Good night.
You want me to read you a bed time story 'cos I will...
I said good night.
What're you doing?
I'm just kidding.
Can you tell me my future from these stars?
They tell stories.
You can get what he's famous for.
You're making this up.
There he is.
There's a group of hunters running away from its stage.
Sometimes things are more than they appear.
Forget it.
What are we gonna do when we get back to our swamp?
Our swamp?
When we're through with rescuing the princess and everything,
There's no we, there's no us.
There's only me, my swamp.
And the first thing I'm gonna do is to build a 10 foot wall.
You cut me deep real deep.
I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out.
Are you having something?
Is it the onion thing?
This is, drop it and leave it. A lonely thing.
Why don't you talk about it?
Why do you want to talk about it?
I'm warning you.
What are you trying to keep?
Everyone.
Now we're getting somewhere.
For the love of peace.
It's your problem. what in the world you got there?
I'm not the one who has problem.
It's the world that seems to have a problem with me.
People look at me and yell and run.
A big stupid ugly ogre.
They judge before they even know me.
That's why I'm better off alone.
When we met, I didn't think you were a big stupid ugly ogre.
How many donkeys up there?
I see it the big shining one right there.
That's the moon.
S how me again, show me the princess.
Perfect.
I like that.
How'd you like your eggs?
We kinda got a bad start yesterday.
I wanna make it up to you.
After all, you did rescue me.
Eat it up.
We got a big day a head of us.
You said compliment.
Better let out than in I always say.
But that's not the way to be have in front of a princess.
She is as nasty as you are.
You're not exactly what I expected.
Maybe you should judge people before you get to know them.
I'm your savior. I'm rescuing you from this beast.
That's my princess, go find your own.
Can't you see I'm a little busy.
Look, I don't know who you think you are.
Let me introduce myself.
That was annoying.
You little...
Shall we?
Hold on, where did that come from?
Back there, that was amazing.
Where did you learn that?
We'd have to learn this thing in case there's...
There's an arrow in your butt.
This is all my fault, I'm so sorry.
What's wrong?
Donkey, I'm ok.
You can't do that to me.
Does anyone know how to handle it?
If you wanna help Shrek go in the woods find a blue flower with a reddon.
I'm on it.
What's that flower for?
For getting rid of donkey.
You hold still, I'll yank it out.
Easy with the yanking.
It has to come out.
Ok, time out.
Would you...
What do you propose we do?
Not good.
If you had to be alone, all you had to do was ask.
That was the last thing on my mind. That princess was just...
There it is princess.
Your suit awaits you.
That's Doluc?
Shrek thinks Farquar's kinda wishing for something.
We better move on.
I'm worried about donkey.
He doesn't look so good.
I'm fine.
That's what you always say.
And the next thing you are on your back,
Dead.
She is right, you look awful.
Do you want to sit there?
I'll make you some tea.
He's hungry, I'll find him some dinner.
I'll get the firewood.
I can't feel my toast.
I think I need a hug.
It's really good.
What's it?
I guess we'll dinner a little differently tomorrow night.
Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime.
I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you.
Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tar. You name it.
I like that.
I was wondering are you...
Are you gonna eat that?
It's romantic, look at this sunset.
It's really late.
I'll see what's going on here.
You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
Yes, that's terrifying. I better go inside.
I used to be afraid of the dark too.
I'm still afraid of the dark.
I really see what's going on here.
What're you talking?
I don't wanna hear. I got the animal instinct.
You 2 are digging each other. I can feel it.
You're crazy. I'm just bringing her to Farquar.
Just go in there and tell her how you feel.
There's nothing to tell.
Even if I did tell her,
I'm not saying I'd do cos I don't.
She is a princess and I'm...
An ogre.
Where're you going?
To get more fire wood.
Princess Fiona.
Where are you?
It's kinds spooky around here. are you playing little games?
I'm the princess.
You ate the princess.
Can you hear me?
Donkey...
keep her breathing.
What happened to you?
You're...
Different.
I'm ugly.
Was it something you ate?
I've been this way as long as I can remember.
What do you mean?
I've never seen you like this before.
It only happens when the sun goes down.
At night one way by day another.
There shall be the normal until I find the true love's first kiss.
It takes love to form.
That's beautiful.
It's a spell.
When I was a little girl , a witch cast a spell on me.
Every night I become
This horrible ugly beast.
I was placed in the tower to wait for my true love to rescue me.
That's why I have to meet lord Farquar before the sun sets and he sees me.
Like this.
You're not that bad. You're not that ugly.
I'm a princess.
What if you don't marry Farquar.
I have to, only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
You and Shrek got a lot in common.
How's it going? good?
Good for me too.
I saw this flower and thought of you.
Cos it's beautiful.
I don't really like it. But you might like it
'cos you're pretty but I like you anyway...
I'm in trouble. Here we go.
Who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly.
That's why I can't stay here with Shrek.
My chance to live happily ever after is to find my true love.
Don't you see, donkey this is how it has to be.
It's the only way to break the spell.
At least we gotta tell Shrek the truth.
You can't read the word. no one must ever know.
What's the point of being unable to talk you gotta keep a secret?
Promise you won't tell.
I won't but you should.
After this I'm gonna need a whole serious therapy look at my eye twitching.
I tell him.
I tell him not.
I tell him.
There's something I wanna...
Are you all right?
Perfect, never been better.
I have something to tell you.
You don't have to tell me anything.
I had enough last night.
You heard what I said?
Every word.
I thought you'd understand.
Like you said you'd love an ugly hideous beast?
But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
It does.
Right on time. I brought you a little something.
Princess Fiona.
As promised, now I hand it over.
Take it and go before I change my mind.
Forgive princess for startling you. and you startle me.
I've never seen such a radiant beauty before.
Forgive me, my lord, for I was wishing...
Farewell.
That was so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on ogre.
Yes, it doesn't.
Beautiful fair princess Fiona.
I ask your hand and marry me.
Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect gloom?
Lord Farquar, I accept. Nothing will...
Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wed...
Why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets.
Right the sooner the better. there's so much to do.
Why you let her get away?
So what?
There's something you don't know.
I know you talked to her last night.
You're a great pal. Why don't you follow her?
I wanna come with you.
You're not going back with me in my swamp.
I live alone you understand.
Nobody else especially useless pathetic annoying talking donkeys.
I thought...
You know what, you thought wrong.
What are you doing?
I figured all the people'd recognize the wall when you see one.
But the wall was supposed to go round in my swamp, not through it.
It's round. That's your and this is my half.
Your half.
I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work, I get half the booty.
Now hand me that big old rock.
Back off.
No, you back off.
This is my swamp.
Stubborn jackass.
Come back here! I'm not through with you yet.
I'm through with you.
You're always me, me, me.
Now it's turn you just shut up and pay attention.
You insult, you don't appreciate everything I do.
You're always pushing me around or away.
If I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
'cos this is what friends do, they forgive each other.
I forgive you for stabbing me at the back.
You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy.
Love me, she said.
She hated me. I was an ugly hideous creature.
I heard you two talking.
She wasn't talking about you.
She was talking about...
Somebody else.
Who was she talking about?
I ain't gonna say anything you don't wanna listen to me right
I'm sorry! I guess I'm just a big ugly stupid ogre.
That's what friends are for.
What did Fiona say about me?
What are you asking me for? why don't you go ask her?
The wedding. We're not gonna make it in time.
Where there's a will, there's a way. and I have a way.
All right, hop on and hold on tight.
We gather here today to witness the union...
Could we skip a head.
Go a head have some fun.
Are you gonna do this?
What are you talking?
You gotta wait for the princess to say? speak now forever hold your peace.
And you say I object.
You love this woman?
You wanna hold her.
Cut it out.
When does the guy say the line?
We gotta check it out.
What did you see?
I object.
What does he want?
Everyone having a good time, aren't you?
It's rude enough being in line when no one wants you.
I want to talk to you.
Now you wanna talk. It's a little late. So if you'll excuse me...
- You can't marry him - Why not?
Because he's marrying you so he can be king.
He is not your true love.
What do you know about true love?
This is precious. The ogre's fallen in love with the prince.
Shrek, is it true?
Who cares.
We're about half way there.
Now, kiss me.
By night, one way by day another,
I wanna show you.
That explains a lot.
That's disgusting.
Guards, get them out of my sight.
That's for you my wife.
I'll have you locked back in the tower for the rest of the days.
Nobody moves.
I got a dragon here. I'm not afraid of you.
Celebrity marriages, they never last, do they?
I love you.
Really?
Really...really.
I love you too.
Are you all right?
I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
But you're beautiful.
I was hoping this would a happy ending.
God bless us everyone.